Early Momentum

The more things change the more they stay the same. As the pace of life seemingly speeds up every year (due to responsibility, work demands,  technology etc.), I’m reminded that it becomes even MORE important that we keep the all important Thanksgiving holiday on our calendar. I like to consider myself a thankful person, but every year at this time I’m grateful for the time out to recognize our blessings.

I’m thankful for lifestyle

Today I am thankful that life IS good. Currently many people are occupying Wall street and other places across the country. I understand it is human nature to always want more. I also respect that there are some who are truly facing tough times right now. Just remember that America’s 99% IS the 1% on a global scale.

I’m thankful for the workplace

Wether you have a business or a job, be thankful for the chance at enterprise. It is the real world application of your skills that effect your personal growth. Be thankful for your customers, without whom there would be no business. If you are a boss in any capacity, be thankful for your people,  the ones who help make you successful.

Most of all I’m thankful for family and friends

It’s said “What good is it for a man to gain the world if he loses his soul?” You could just as easily replace soul with family and friends. To me life would be fruitless no matter how wealthy one is without friends and family. We should all slow down to truly be thankful for those in our lives. I have found the more genuinely grateful I am about a given relationship, the better I can contribute to it.

This holiday, take a time out to reflect. Make a point to show your thankfulness in word and action. Keep things in perspective and try to remember, the best things in life can’t be bought on a Black Friday sale (though there IS plenty of things at a Black Friday sale to be thankful for).

My kids asked my wife and I “How come there’s no Kids Day like there is a Father’s Day and Mother’s Day?”

My answer was that every day is Kids Day! Kids have parents who work to provide for them! Kids have no real cares of responsibility (ok, school work, I will give him that)! Kids get to spend nearly every hour watching TV and playing! Parents on the other hand, they get just one day a year.

Fathers, this is your day!  Enjoy it while lasts.  But as you enjoy it, may you reflect on the meaning of what fatherhood is all about.

Yes, children are wonderful when you’re lying on the couch and can’t reach the remote control.   Yes it is fantastic when they are at the age in which you can bribe them to do your chores for a mere nickel (watch out though , the rates increase with age). However I have found that one of the greatest things about being a father is the privilege of raising a human being.  To teach them the ways of life in regard to sophistication , financial skills , relational skills , good judgment, goal setting and values.

Many of us have aspirations to be famous or to influence a great number of people.  It dawned on me some point years ago while still a fairly new father that it is infinitely better to  positively influence your  own child or children than to influence thousands or even millions of strangers.

May today also remind of each of us that it is not enought just to be “father.” We must also strive to become “Dad.” There is a difference! Yes, a father provides, teaches and disciplines. But it is Dad who is fun and connects with his children without judgement.

Finally, make sure you express your appreciation to your father. I know most people get that, after all that’s the whole purpose of the holiday. But I would encourage the many people who have strained relationships with their fathers to consider reaching out to them. Don’t put off making amends. After all, love them or hate them, if it wasn’t for them you wouldn’t even have a shot at this thing called life.

A Father’s Love

A father is respected because
      he gives his children leadership…
      appreciated because
      he gives his children care…
      valued because
      he gives his children time…
      loved because
      he gives his children the one thing
      they treasure most – himself.

How many times a day are you asked this question? How many times a day do you ask somebody this question? How often is this question answered with something other than “okay” or “good?”

Personally I like to have some fun with this social formality. You can do so too. The next time you’re asked this question, at a basic level switch the typical response of “good” to “outstanding”  or “amazing.” Merely doing this alone will almost cause a double take from your inquisitor.

Once you’re comfortable doing that, take it to the next level with creative and positive responses like . . .

“If I were doing any better they would lock me up and throw away the key!”

“I’m doing so great if I were electricity I could power the eastern seaboard for a decade!”

“If I were currency I could pay off the national debt. Twice.”

“I’m putting the fun in dysfunctional.”

“I’m a living legend. If you don’t believe me, ask me.”

“I’m doing so good Oprah calls me for advice.”

See if you can’t come up with some unusual answers to this usual question. Doing so will put you and the other person in a better mood.

When we talk about the influential people in history, Mohandas Gandhi is often part of the discussion. We’ve all heard the name and probably agree he was a wise and noble person. But to get a “cliff notes” version of his philosophy, one could start by reading the short list of profound thoughts he left to his grandson shortly before his life ended. He called the list ”The 7 Blunders of the World.”  

1. Wealth without work  

2. Pleasure without conscience  

3. Knowledge without character  

4. Commerce without morality  

5. Science without humanity  

6. Worship without sacrifice  

7. Politics without principle  

Later, his grandson Arun Gandhi added an eighth “blunder” to the list . . .  

8. Rights without responsibilities 

Yesterday while driving home from work well into the evening, I found myself stuck in a traffic jam on the freeway. This was well after rush hour and I was beyond hungry looking forward to a bite to eat and getting home. Needless to say, frustration began to set in.

I assumed there was an accident and sure enough as I continued down the freeway with all the other people stuck in the traffic, there was a sign indicating as much. I hate to confess that in my human nature,  my first thought was that somebody was probably driving recklessly and as a result had adversely affected the evening for thousands of people. I quickly stopped myself in the middle of that thought, and corrected myself recognizing that as bad as it might have made my night, I should be thankful that I wasn’t involved in the accident myself  and that I should be sympathetic for the people who were involved. Eventually, after getting off at the next available exit and taking side roads all the way home, I had a late dinner and settled in with the family.

Later on the 10 o’clock news, the accident that caused the traffic jam was covered. Turns out a lady had swerved to avoid rear ending another car and as a result her car flipped causing her to be thrown from her vehicle. She was killed instantly.

Earlier the same day, news spread of the tragic mining accident in West Virginia in which 25 people suddenly lost their lives. A few days before that in Washington state, there was a refinery explosion which resulted in five more lives being lost.

I write of these things now not to be bleak or to depress you, but rather to share some reflections that I have made coming from hearing these stories. In all of these cases, they involve people of different ages and different backgrounds. I’m sure every one of them had plans for their futures if not inspiring dreams. They got up and got on with their normal daily routines having no idea what would be around the corner for them. Each of them had some kind of family. Perhaps parents or grandparents, perhaps children or grandchildren, perhaps a spouse. Despite all that, their lives were unfortunately cut short.

We can (experience) life in three different ways: (1) by doing a deed; (2) by experiencing a value; and (3) by suffering.-Victor Frankl

When we hear of stories like these, or more dramatically when we experience the unexpected loss of a loved one, it is important to let life touch us and capture the lesson. For me, the lesson teaches that even though I already say I understand and pay lip service to the concept of telling people what they mean to me on a regular basis, I must be disciplined and actually do the deed.

It also serves as a reminder of how short life is. With all the things I still want to see and do in my lifetime, I’m sure that if I were to live to 100, in hindsight it would feel like life blazed right by. Yet every day in the world thousands of people have their lives snuffed out by unpredictable misfortunes in everyday life such as a collapsing building, a mis-timed lane change or a faulty amusement ride. For many of them it happens before they’ve had a chance to truly experience much life at all.

There is no cure for birth and death save to enjoy the interval.-George Santayana

As I write this, I am reminded of the kamikaze pilots from Japan in World War II. Every single day they woke up, they learned to embrace that it may be their last day on earth. The kamikaze forces shared the philosophy that we should learn to live life as though we will live forever while at the same time learning to live life as though today was our last day on earth. That’s a high ideal to be sure, but also a wise one.

 My intent is not for this to be a message of doom and gloom. But rather one of encouragement. I hope you will be encouraged to pause for a moment and appreciate the life you have lived so far. Then I hope you will consider tomorrow not to be just another day, but rather a gift of the human experience that we share. I also hope you’ll take a moment to think about the people who are important to your life.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.-Albert Einstein

 Finally, I want to give you a challenge. As soon as you finish reading this, take some kind of action to let somebody important to you know how you feel about them. It may be your spouse, your parent, your sibling  or your child who’s in the other room. If you’re by yourself, then make a phone call or even send somebody an e-mail.

Family means too much, friends are too valuable, and life is too short to put off sharing with people how much they really mean to you.

We sure do seem to like top 10 lists. From late-night talk shows to the sports pages we find them all over the place. You can find one for almost anything such as the Top 10 Perfectly Timed Sports Pictures to the  Top 10 Funniest Quotes. But what’s even better than reading other people’s top 10 lists is to create our own!

I started doing this a few years ago in my journal writing. Not only is it fun, but it’s a great way to really capture the great experiences and interests in your life. It’s also fun to look back years later and see if/how your top 10 lists have changed over time. As an added benefit, you’re now ready to strike up conversation when somebody asks you what is your favorite X or when somebody asks you for a recommendation on a common interest.

So in keeping with the theme, here’s my top 10 list of top 10 lists to consider creating for yourself to get started with. Of course you can add a list for what ever interests you have!

10. Restaurants
Give some thought to your favorite places to eat at. Be it fine or casual dining, eating out with friends and family is one of life’s simple pleasures.

9. Books
From entertainment to knowledge, books can be so valuable. What’s on your list for books that have inspired, taught, and motivated or otherwise benefited you?

8. Movies
A common conversation point, one that can certainly lead to some fun debates!

7.  Music
This list is the one that perhaps changes the most over time. There’s also plenty of more specific lists you could create under this such as live concerts, musicians, CDs or individual songs.

6. Travel
Capture the places you’ve been to. Reviewing this list is great for reflection on your experiences visiting places near or far from home.

5. Dislikes
This might seem odd at first, but it’s good to determine the things in your life that you are annoyed by or even  passionately against!  It’s a handy list to have when deciding where to contribute your resources in the name of charity as well.

4. Interests
I have found that boring people are often people who have never taken the time to figure out what interests them. When you give thought to what your interests are, you will know how to better spend your free time. Additionally, it gives direction as to where to develop new friends and acquaintances.

3. Accomplishments
For motivational purposes, this is one of the best top 10 lists you can possibly make. When finding yourself feeling less than your best, you can’t help but feel better when you review a list of some of the greatest things you’ve done in your life!

2. Goals
This one is major! This is the top 10 list that will truly help inspire and motivate you for the future. It is also a list that will hopefully be ever-changing as you accomplish your goals over time and replace it with new ones. Of all the lists, this is the one to post in a place where you can review it daily!

1. Experiences
Creating a great lifestyle is all about having experiences! In fact, almost all of these other recommended lists stem from having experiences. So this list is reserved for the best of the best in your life. From trips, family reunions, graduations, activities or events attended, anything important to you is fair game for this list. Think of it as the best possible way to communicate to somebody all about who you are in 10 bullet points.

Well there you have it. My top 10 top 10 lists. Have fun creating your own!

One thing I have learned in creating a great lifestyle is that experiences are much better than things! Reflect on the things you remember best or talk about most from your life and I bet you’ll agree. 

Experiences create our life’s best memories

I’ll bet your fondest memories in your life have to do with concerts attended, trips taken, games played, and holidays and time spent with friends and family. In your final days it is these things you will cherish. You will not be thinking nearly as much about the cars you have owned, the clothes that you wore or toys you purchased.

Happiness comes of the capacity to feel deeply, to enjoy simply, to think freely, to risk life, to be needed.-Storm Jameson

Experiences make us a better conversationalist

I have much more to talk about with you in a conversation if we have both been to Hawaii than if we both have a flat screen TV. I will bring you more value sharing with you what I learned at a seminar or class than sharing with you about my new golf clubs.

In my life, I will always choose travel over a larger home, the option of going out to dinner with friends or family over a couple new DVDs and going to a live event over acquiring another trinket to put on a shelf.

Life is the collection of experiences, their frequency and their intensity.-Jim Rohn

As you set goals for yourself, and as you consider how you will spend your limited resources of time and money, I encourage you to place the acquisition of  experiences over the acquisition of things!

This is part two of a series of posts on the subject of making the most of your money. Part one is The power of compound interest. Stay tuned for the next post of this series.

One of the most important things you can learn in order to help assure your financial success is the concept of consequence costs. With every purchase you ever make, there are consequences attached to it. At the very least the consequence is not being able to use the money you spent on something else. But often, there are additional consequences in the form of time, energy, options and follow-up costs.

The ultimate example of a purchase with many consequence costs is a pet. Now before you consider me a pet hater, let me assure you I’m not. I fully understand the value and companionship a pet can bring someone. In fact my family has a pet cat named Sam that was a birthday present for me, however he turned out to be more of a family gift. I think my birthday was just an excuse to get him.

He started out so adorable. Little did I realize the consequence cost of his developing annoyingly bad habits. 

As great as pets are, many people make a decision to get one on a whim without taking the time to think about the ramifications. Sure they consider the initial price tag and maybe the upfront shots and licenses. They even realize there will be the ongoing purchase of food. But generally they do not really count the costs long-term. For example, a large size dog is estimated to cost $1,500 in the first year and $700 each year thereafter. With an average life of 14 years, that amounts to $10,600. If one were to invest that amount of money for 20 years at 6% interest, they would have $33,995! For the costs involved for other various pets, see this chart.

Now even if the money is a non issue, it’s important to consider the other consequence costs of a pet. Now that I have a cat, there is energy and time costs of additional house cleaning, additional errands to a pet store for quality products (the cat doesn’t settle for the low-class stuff from the grocery store), and every time my family wants to get away we must arrange plans to have Sam taken care of by family or friends or spend the additional money for boarding. For a dog owner, add the needed daily walks of the animal regardless of the weather or how busy they may be.

Before moving on, let me just reiterate that I think pets can be great. Some people love their pets as though they were their children. Just be sure to think it through when you make the decision on whether or not to get a pet. You have to make sure that the value it brings outweighs the costs. Unless it’s a fish. The kids talked me into getting some fish. We picked out two. One died soon after (I think the other fish killed him, if not by intent than by hogging all the food). At first each morning upon waking I’d walk by the fish tank and say “what cool little fish.” Now upon waking I walk by the fish tank and say “oh, you’re still alive.”

While pets are an obvious example of purchases that have consequence costs, it’s important to give thought to the ramifications of every purchase large and small. For every item you ever bring into your home or life, it means you have one more thing to clean, one more thing to store, one more thing to maintain and one more thing to move every time you relocate. This means taking your time and your energy from doing something else. Sometimes people acquire so much stuff that there is the consequence cost of needing to purchase a larger home or a storage facility just to house it.

To paraphrase Jim Rohn, some people miss out on the treasures of life because they’ve blown all their money on the trinkets of life!

Before making a purchase of any kind, take a moment to consider a couple things.

What will be the follow-up costs in money, time or lost options with this purchase?

Is there something I would rather have that will be delayed or canceled If I make this purchase now?

Wealthy people count the costs, both initial and consequential, of every purchase. Developing this habit early will do wonders for moving you towards freedom in both your finances and lifestyle.

It seems we are still watching more and more television. In fact recent Nielson reports say the average American today watches 151  hours of television per month! That’s about what we spend at a full-time job!

Now I don’t believe that TV is evil, nor do I believe that there is no place for it in our lives. In moderation it can serve us. For example, comedy television makes us laugh which is healthy and a great stress reliever. A great movie or well written drama can be entertaining. Again, in moderation.

Unfortunately, the vast majority of TV watching, and certainly the average person’s quantity of it, is in direct conflict with reaching our potential and living a fulfilling life. For most people, the programming they view brings no value to their lives. The saddest thing about excessive television is that we are living vicariously through strangers .

I find it interesting that so many people will sit at home and watch a sitcom like Friends. What’s happening here? They are watching fictional characters visiting one another, going out for coffee, and sharing life experiences. Really? How about developing some real friendships of your own. Go out with a real life friend for coffee, good conversation and the creating of life experiences!

Often times people fantasize about having the fine cars, nice homes, and fashionable clothes everyone seems to have on their favorite TV shows. Yet it is excessive TV viewing that is keeping them from acquiring those things for themselves. Sitting on a couch watching instead of doing will not bring you the good things in life. The ironic thing is this, it is our watching these people living the “good life” on-screen that pays for them to make it their reality.

. . . it is our watching these (actors) living the “good life” on-screen that pays for them to make it their reality.

The “reality TV” craze we’ve been experiencing for the last number of years is perhaps the most perplexing. I just don’t get watching other peoples so-called “real” lives played out before us instead of living our own.

Turn off “The Biggest Loser” and get to the gym!  Get outside and go for a jog! Lose your own weight and stop watching someone else improve their health and energy!

Turn off  “The Bachelor” and go create your own romance! If you’re married and dreaming about a better marriage, than go to work on it.

Turn off “The Apprentice” and go build your own business and entrepreneurial skills. Get out there and build your own enterprise.

Can you think of someone who frequently complains about being out of work, a stagnant career, or not having enough money? Often times it is these very people who can bring you up to speed on all the celebrity gossip, talk show topics, and who got voted of the island! What if they used even half of their TV time for self-development, earning money, and improving their lifestyle?

The choice is ours!